margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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