I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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