Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
