My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
