I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
