honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
