i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
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she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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