I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
