so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
