so explain again why im purple
no
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
