So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
