I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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