obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
