p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
