when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize