All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize