Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
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there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
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this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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