sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
