i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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