Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
