I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
