We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
