So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
