I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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