Apparently you make a good broom.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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