All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize