If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
