judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
