please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
