are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
