I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize