I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize