if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
