just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
