He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
