we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.