oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends