Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

it was like his penis was on wheels.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.

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(305): View more from Florida

I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was

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(250): View more from British Columbia

How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.

(1-440): View more from Ohio

Run dude. Just run

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(330): View more from Ohio

Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever

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