Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?