im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day