I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My vagina is officially offended.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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