dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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