So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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