Banned from zoo.
Again?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
