I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
