he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
