His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
