dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
