Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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