why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
