Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
