This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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