I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Then you guys just all showered together...?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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