just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize