summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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