while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
