I must be too annoying 4 u.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking