Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?

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  (858): So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis? http://tfl.nu/f1iy
  Replies (12) Good night (1338) Bad night (729)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.

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  (630): Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me. http://tfl.nu/4ss8
  Replies (18) Good night (7162) Bad night (1927)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.

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  (902): the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved. http://tfl.nu/ruqq
  Replies (7) Good night (3586) Bad night (961)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes

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  (910): whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes http://tfl.nu/crfp
  Replies (15) Good night (2162) Bad night (4434)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.

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  (850): HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF. http://tfl.nu/8qce
  Replies (12) Good night (1090) Bad night (2759)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.

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  (303): dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered. http://tfl.nu/j70b
  Replies (10) Good night (7717) Bad night (1125)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.

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  (541): he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life. http://tfl.nu/b77w
  Replies (12) Good night (2205) Bad night (1024)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.

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  (479): Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE. http://tfl.nu/evb8
  Replies (10) Good night (671) Bad night (2266)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.

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  (954): my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer. http://tfl.nu/ka6k
  Replies (1) Good night (741) Bad night (1055)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal

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  (713): My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal http://tfl.nu/z8hr
  Replies (6) Good night (1758) Bad night (586)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?

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  (443): I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible? http://tfl.nu/lb2v
  Replies (19) Good night (750) Bad night (1176)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.

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  (405): Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow. http://tfl.nu/6tpd
  Replies (5) Good night (582) Bad night (279)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause

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  (781): I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause http://tfl.nu/iz9t
  Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (237)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.

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  (540): Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight. http://tfl.nu/pfpe
  Replies (1) Good night (777) Bad night (194)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.

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  (804): I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of. http://tfl.nu/8q9f
  Replies (2) Good night (160) Bad night (227)

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