I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...