i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
