I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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