some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
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