I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
operation have a gay friend backfired
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only