Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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