You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
