I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
where are my eyebrows?
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