Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
