ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize