ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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