is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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