I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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