On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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