Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
