do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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