Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
